I kept staring at the date on the calendar. One year since she vanished. One whole year since my world stood still. I tried to replay those last moments but my mind refused to let them in, shutting them out and protecting me from the horror of it all. Occasionally her face would flicker into view, laughing and smiling then it would be gone in an instant and I would be left with nothing. Just an emptiness that overwhelmed me. I got up and walked to the window. Our window, where we had hugged and dreamt of our future together. Now there was only blackness. I stared out, hoping to see her but all I saw was my own reflection; a gaunt, hunched and…